Monday, October 31, 2011

87. Perspective.

Another day at the office is about drone on. Off to calling people and gotten answering machines. Through procrastinating actual work and talking to boyfriend while he finishes night shift, our conversation landed upon the party that a friend of mine had on Friday. Perspective sometimes likes to weasel it's way into my mind, and now is one of those times. I debated how much I'd share here, but it's something I feel like I need to get out into the world.

Most "normal" university students engage in binge drinking and partying at every possible occasion. Some just drink, some just smoke, some do both. I'm not a straight-edge by any means, but this whole scene gets really tiring for me really quickly. I don't see the point in ingesting extra chemicals just to give yourself a temporary high. I don't understand why people would choose to turn themselves into idiots by smoking things. When I just don't want to participate in this behaviour, I get belittled. I've been called an old lady on many occasions because I like to get to bed early, I eat reasonably well, and I don't do anything illegal. Can someone please tell me what is wrong with that? 

I know it's just people poking fun because I'm not the same as they are. Others at parties chooses to participate, but I'm one of few who chooses to sit out. I wonder if it's just that they think I'm weird or if it's something else. Do they think less of me because I choose to take care of myself? Because I knew what I wanted to do with my life and I'm well on my way to doing it? I have never been one of those people who wants to go wild and do whatever I want. I do exactly what I want on a day to day basis, with the exception of work sometimes. I don't really like drinking all that much, because when I drink the expectation is to binge. I don't mind a glass of wine or three, or a yummy cocktail, but that's where my line is drawn. I would much rather waste my money on yoga classes, fresh fruit and veggies, nail polish, chocolate, massages, than spending it on copious amounts of alcohol which just hurt my head and make me feel like an idiot. 

My realization comes, of course, from talking to my mother. Of course she has the answer, she's a mom. When I tell her about how being a "normal" university student tires me, and how I want to make all these plans for my future, she let's me have it: "you're growing up." Well damn. That's right isn't it? I take care of my body, I try to take care of my mind, and I'm learning the importance of treating those around you as you'd like to be treated. I would rather stay in with my boyfriend and watch movies, or go out for an expensive fancy dinner than go downtown and party all night. My plans for how I want my life to go will end up happening, because that's how I want it to go. If they don't go according to plan, that's alright too but at least I know what direction in which I'm heading.

I could include details, but on the possibility that I go public to my friends and family with my blog, I really don't want to. Does anyone have an opinion? Or a comment to add? I would actually really like to hear your thoughts.

Til next time!

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